The Name P.V.

Pink :  to pierce, stab. to wound by irony, criticism, or ridicule.

Vengeance :  to lay claim to. avenge. punishment inflicted in retaliation for an injury or offense. with great force or vehemence. to an extreme or excessive degree.

Pink Vengeance is my name for the Disease of Codependency. An extreme attempt to control, to make things the way we want them, the people around us the way we think they should be- even if we think it’s for their own good. We go to excessive lengths to accomplish this, and albeit a temporary reprieve, it never, ever remains. Doing the same things over and over expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. We try to lay claim to those we care for, and justify it by calling it Love. So I am calling it out behind the iron wall of denial. This is Vengeance. Let’s look at the ugliness of the way we have acted in order to move in a healthier direction…whether or not our loved ones follow.

And Pink because we try to soften the abuse, calling it Love and Devotion and Loyalty and Obedience and Sacrifice and Service. I say to you now, this kind of codependency is not love. Just because everyone calls it Pink does not make it so. Pink because every one of us had no idea that we were doing this. We were simply living our lives, loving those we live for the best way we knew how. I have been shown another way, and so I show you. Bottom line? We are in pain; the things our loved one is doing or not doing is making the anguish more and more unbearable to live with. So we have been trying to change the situation, change them to alleviate that pain (for themselves as well as for us).

If charity is the pure love of Christ, then we must remember he never tried to control anyone. He let us all be who we are, and loves us in spite of ourselves, because of ourselves, beyond ourselves. Pure Love is not tainted with attempts to deny one their freedom; their individual agency, their free will, or their accountability.

I once was blind, but now I see…

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