In Silence

Posted on | January 9, 2012 | No Comments

as written September 25, 2010

As I lay in yoga this morning, the quick picture that came as I went within and searched for her – (my spirit…to see in what state she was at now) I found her. Laid out, not tiny and small, but in full size as my body, in perfect proportion. I felt joy at this. She wasn’t in hiding anymore! And as I faced her to speak, she brought a finger to her lips, then pointed to her chest, where a small tag said, “I am in silence.” Just like she did.

“Why are you in SILENCE!” I demanded of her. But she didn’t respond. Later today, I got the below from W.

“In answer to the text and email, I am not positive but I think the empty feeling you still have is grief. It is a healthy way for your body to process what has happened. It has to work through the trauma of the experience – even if it is a good and needed one. I think your soul may also be longing to replace what is now gone with more good. That will also take time and is a process. It is good though. I can call and talk to process this more with you if needed. You are doing well and the Lord is proud of you. Give yourself time to heal…take care.”

And so. I get it. My emptiness is…grief. She is still in mourning. She does not wear black, but she is now in silence. My grief has never taken its form in the emptiness and numbness and plateaued depression I have felt this last month. Maybe that’s why it felt so foreign and strange and that I had no place for it. But as I read her words, I feel their truth. It settles my unsettled, and gives me a small amount of more patience to be where I am. I STILL WANT TO JUST BE DONE WITH IT. But she is grieving her life’s work, and I don’t know how much pre-earth-work. But she does. So, I’ll let her be. In her silence. Because she is I, and we are one, and I love her. And I will give her all the time she needs.

Keep reading…

Comments

Pages

• About
• Bibliotherapy
• Contact
• Dance of Addiction
• Quirks one might Question
• Synopsis
• The Name P.V.
• Your Stories

Search for:

Read the story from the beginning…

• Day 1

Recent Posts

• R.R.
• On Kindness
• The Levee Must Give
• Louisiana
• A Jazzy Kind Of Love

Categories

Select Category Adventures! (AKA PissPoorPlanning) Brent Church Dogs Emptying The Cavern Family Feelings That are Horrible but Honest Food Giving the Bird to the word GRATEFUL Have to FEEL it to HEAL it Holidays Hope I Forgot I Love to Sing… It’s all about the Feelings Land of the Numb Laughing in the Middle of Hell’s Highway Learning to Love Letters Brent Wrote Letters I Wrote Letters to Anna Letters to Best Friends Letters to God Loving On Myself My Gardener My Sweet Step Son Rehab Seeing the Miracle Share the Love Shit that’s just painful Stories From My Past Stuff I still want to withhold Thank God for Therapy The Deadliest Disease The Land Inside My Heart The Office The Other Side The Wars The Woman Things that require bravery Things to Do with Poop This Cunning and Baffling Disease Uncategorized

Recent Comments

• Dad on I Read P.V. Button
• L on A Slow Glacier
• L on Armor Up

Archives

Select Month February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009

Get the button, share the love