You Make It Through

as written October 28, 2010 Single Dad Laughing asked a question. And I felt compelled to answer it for myself. “Write a short message to yourself, the self that was going through hell. What would you say to her?” I hesitate to write things like, “You’re not alone,” and “You’re stronger than you know,” or [...]

The Wayfaring Man Has Been Given Much

as sent October 8, 2010 Even though I had not gone to church in two years, one of my brothers requested of me to play the piano for his re-baptism. I had known him for some time, and loved him deeply – that is usually the way with such intense experiences as addiction. You experience [...]

The Call

I couldn’t help what I felt as I read what she had bravely shared. My feelings fell onto the page like a before untapped vein, now slit open… We (society in general) celebrate addicts (and other mental illnesses) who achieve sobriety (sanity) much like we celebrated returning Vietnam vets back in the 70′s: With silence. [...]

Wine Of Mine

as written September 1, 2010 The Woman was asked to speak at an ARP Fireside on addiction. She was bold, empowering, humbling, and incredible as usual. And the other two speakers (recovering addicts, both of them) were great – they had INTENSE stories that had you on the edge of your seat for most of it. [...]

What Good

as written January 8, 2010 Katie: So what has changed in a year? If he keeps going like this the only result is him using again! Me: Knowledge has changed. But we know that it takes practice and most often relapses are the journey to reconcile behavior with what we know to be true. Katie: [...]

Sober

as written December 11, 2009 Today is my two year anniversary of being sober. Emotionally sober. It means I’ve been hauling ass for 720 days to keep myself accountable, keep myself honest, rid myself of lies, and kept my own shit on my side of the street. It means I have attempted to be responsible [...]

An Honest Babe

as written November 24, 2009 like honest Abe. Honesty is courage untamed…Abba said to me. I keep repeating it. I came clean with W. with all the things I had not been telling her – and I told her all about being really angry at her. She was concerned about my need to be perfect [...]

Spiritual Morphine

as written May 6, 2009 Time for a visit to Family Group. I need it. A year ago Brent graduated. Already a year. The most tortured and enlightened year of my life. Lord, help me FEEL today, help the healing continue and the feeling begin. This time, through these sacred doors, I feel PEACE. “Codependency [...]

P to the 3rd Degree

as written January 28, 2009 It’s been a while since I’ve been to Family Group. But here I am tonight, realizing the progression of the “P’s”. Two times ago I felt self-PITY. Last time I felt PAIN. This night, however, I feel POWER! Overwhelming; rushing through my emptied veins, nourishing and replenishing – EXPANDING to [...]

A Glorious Miscarriage

as written January 27, 2009 You might think me mean. You might think me callous and cruel. Un-empathetic. But for me, one who has lost two children in such painful and bloody ways- I am the best to empathize. Brent called last night to tell me the news. She miscarried. She is no longer pregnant. [...]

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