Echoes

as written November 12, 2009 I went to Family Group last night. The pain that hit me was when The Woman spoke about the wives who don’t work on their own recovery (emotional health) and simply leave their husbands instead – and what a miracle it is for her to see husbands and wives fall in [...]

Emotional Infections

as written November 3, 2009 Another Family Group night where I simply sit there and absorbbbbbbbbbbbbbb, letting it wash over me without trying to understand it logically at first. Like learning a new language, the baptism of it is what gives you the feel for it. So once again, I let The Woman crash over [...]

Lifted

as written November 1, 2009 A regular and awful reality of our lives: Sometimes, the men we love pass away. My sister Dena’s Mike just did last week. OD’d and was found alone at his keyboard. We gathered around her at Family Group, and she shared; honestly, openly: “Just because I don’t smoke crack and [...]

Remembered

as written October 9 to 11, 2009 When I escaped from work on Friday, I headed down to St. George. The Woman just happened to be doing a weekend long workshop there, and so I got to focus my searing heartache elsewhere. God bless her – it was exactly what I needed. Before I arrived, [...]

A Prideful Feast

as written August 10, 2009 I am continually shocked at the continued thriving existence of my pride. It just keeps showing up in different places. And also today, I am aching for commitment again. I am sensitive and feeling a bit shaky and non-confident, and it’s driving me a bit crazy. I want Adam. I [...]

Spiritual Morphine

as written May 6, 2009 Time for a visit to Family Group. I need it. A year ago Brent graduated. Already a year. The most tortured and enlightened year of my life. Lord, help me FEEL today, help the healing continue and the feeling begin. This time, through these sacred doors, I feel PEACE. “Codependency [...]

P to the 3rd Degree

as written January 28, 2009 It’s been a while since I’ve been to Family Group. But here I am tonight, realizing the progression of the “P’s”. Two times ago I felt self-PITY. Last time I felt PAIN. This night, however, I feel POWER! Overwhelming; rushing through my emptied veins, nourishing and replenishing – EXPANDING to [...]

My Elephant Issue

as written November 8, 2008 Doing it again. Making me face my shit. Here’s my biggest… being alone. Mikey keeps handing me my issues on a silver fucking platter. One at a time. One after the other. One more deeply engrained than the previous one. And this is my elephant of issues. My cindarella fucking [...]

Against the Gray

as written October 24, 2008 I should remember that fighting against something never works, but that surrender always does. I will never WIN the fight AGAINST Brent’s love. I will lose every single time. So…if I surrender over my love for Brent, if I surrender over Brent’s love for me, if I surrender over myself [...]

Something Shiny

as written October 11, 2008 It’s a sparkly! Talking with Jen, who has this incredible gift (as we’re racing through our journey at pell mell speeds) to shout out, “Look! Something shiny!”, and reach down and pick up the small, beautifully sparkly nuggets that I would surely miss. She points them out to me (or [...]

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