Band Of Love

as written September 29, 2010 Went and saw Band of Horses concert last night. Brought Adam with me. He’s introduced me to so much great music, and bought me tickets to all of them. So I brought him. The last few days have been filled up with love, for myself, from others, for others. Kim [...]

Love, Love, Love, Love, Crazy Love

as written September 15, 2010 The last couple days have seen an abundance of love being shown me. And I just wanted to give thanks for it, document it, and record it. Poppa Gig (one of my surrogate dads all growing up. I was friends with his daughters, and he was also a key character [...]

Blueprint

(couple forgotten journal entries that still deserve to be included) as written July 19, 2010 Brent called yesterday, after two months. Only because he wanted the PW to my iTunes account (since I gave him my old iPod). LAME. So fucking lame. Seriously. That’s it. Our conversation was topical, and I felt next to nothing. No desire to [...]

Sparse Are The Hearts

as written August 14, 2010 I love my yoga instructor, Emily. This petite young woman who led us in practice for the last time before the birth of her child. She’s so small so her belly is enormous, and yet she still kicks my ass. Endless chumarunga’s and push ups and planks and poses that [...]

Addendum:

as written July 9, 2010 This analogy needs to keep on going: In recovery, I’ve been surrendering everything over to God. All my props, the 2-dimensional painted frames that represented everything I hid behind, blamed, projected onto, or used as costuming to hide my emotionally honest self. One by one, I’ve given these props to [...]

Parable Of The Cracked Pot

as read, from Jen, July 6, 2010 An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the [...]

My Batman Begins

as written June 29, 2010 Monica: As I was driving home last night I thought again about another perspective of Grace – to me, grace can be felt more powerfully when you LET GO. God can’t force you to do anything, so when you finally let go and let God – when you trust him because you are [...]

Lucky To Have

as written May 6, 2010 to my friend, Jen I am good. Just IM’ing with my sweetest of all sweet boys, Chris from NYC (my high school sweetheart) who is absolutely one of the most amazing men out there. I told him how I thought I was ready for an “R” finally (relationship), and he [...]

Caged

as written April 18, 2010 The night before the imagery with the bears, I felt this expectation with Adam – just this overwhelming intensity that he was accepting my love. Shifting his energy. Things were changing. I kept feeling like he was just going to knock on my door at any moment. It was like [...]

A Radical Undoing

as written April 17, 2010 Went to the “Workshop of the Heart” at the Yoga City Center in Salt Lake. Led by Carrie, an inspired woman in recovery. She combines addiction recovery and the breathing, healing techniques of yoga for body, mind, and spirit. For two hours, she walked us through some deep meditative breathing, [...]

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