The Big Guns

as written October 27, 2010 The last couple days have found me strong; happy and sure and peaceful. Content without reason, open to love and powerful within my vulnerability because I love and am safe within myself. That in and of itself is a mighty miracle. And so, it was with simple and quiet acquiescence [...]

Sound The Horns

as written October 24, 2010 Okay. I am sad. I have been so distracted with my love for Adam ever since Friday night when he was in my heart – and I was overwhelmed with my love for him, and it opened it all up again for me. So I called him Saturday, he didn’t answer [...]

Q&A

as written October 19, 2010 Dearest Abba and Co. (smile)… I feel all these things swirling around, and am sensitive to it to some depth. And I feel the questions come and the answers impress themselves from my spirit into my mind, I think I should write them down. There are all these little things [...]

Pages Of My Life

as written October 11, 2010 Things that come to my mind, as I compare (yes I guess compare) my wedding to theirs, and what it made me remember of my own. Her frozen barbie smile, and how distant yet overwhelmingly happy she seemed, and his presence and quivering chin and laughing eyes and huge smile. [...]

Ode To Womb

as written September 27, 2010 One of my dear friends was facing the agony of an unavoidable complete hysterectomy. She was 35. Her pain sank into my pores like a communicable grief. How do you comfort this kind of loss? I knew only one source could, and so I offered it to her. Sometimes, most [...]

A Life’s Work

as written September 5, 2010 I feel the readiness arrive, although my willingness is not entirely in agreement. But it is enough that I must continue on. I need to remember there is no more loss, only release. Only an opening, a portal, an opportunity for the love and joy and growth that await – even at the [...]

Pissed

as written August 29, 2010 I’m watching the mutts for Adam. I realize more and more how little he gives me. There was a pile of birthday cards on the table. The recent one from her (the insane woman he dated for a couple months a year before me, who he continues to be ‘just [...]

Sit Deeper Into Chair

as written August 15, 2010 Why I’m angry: Because Adam’s friends came down and he didn’t invite me to any part of it. The first time he hasn’t done that. Because on the phone he sounded like he could give a rats ass, that his “no plans” for Sunday might turn into any plans better [...]

Sparse Are The Hearts

as written August 14, 2010 I love my yoga instructor, Emily. This petite young woman who led us in practice for the last time before the birth of her child. She’s so small so her belly is enormous, and yet she still kicks my ass. Endless chumarunga’s and push ups and planks and poses that [...]

Guns Ablazing

as written August 1, 2010 in response to a friend’s request Ahh…my sweet Jules…I have so much empathy and love for you. I hope you can open your broken heart enough to feel it from me and those who love you. First, I just want to validate the heartbreak. Nothing is more painful than our relationship [...]

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