What I Always Needed To Hear

as written September 8, 2010 As I have learned and continue to learn – accepting someone’s choices doesn’t have to mean you condone them. We often lump those in the same category, saying we can’t accept someone unless their behavior/beliefs/choices mimic what we believe to be the best for them. The sad truth about this is [...]

Mama’s Week

as written September 7, 2010 She got in Monday night. We spent the week hopping around to meals and hang-outs with my group of friends and Utah family. Making dinner for other friends (my chicken salad in lettuce wraps, fried zuke slices with marinara, fresh tomatoes with EVOO S&P and chives and balsamic, fruit, cheese [...]

One More Dance

as written September 1 through 4, 2010 9.1.11. When I’m in the present moment, no outer sources of emotionalizing get to me: movies, songs, etc. However, when I’m NOT in the present moment, when I’m avoiding my feelings/numbing out, and can’t feel ME, songs and movies and commericals make me feel exquisite grief and it pours [...]

I Don’t Want To Write This

(couple forgotten journal entries that still deserve to be included) as written July 16, 2010 But I don’t know how NOT to, anymore. Went to Brent’s younger brother’s wedding reception last night in the scorching July heat. It was great to spend time with a family I love, and to not envy the bride in [...]

Some Of The Mothers

(couple forgotten journal entries that still deserve to be included) as written July 13, 2010 Adam’s mom has been here this week. Love that lady. She’s just real and accepting and that’s so refreshing, liberating, and plain awesome. She told me how he said people are pressuring him to be with someone, that he’s creepy being an [...]

A Peaceful Demotion

as written August 5, 2010 The Islands: calm, serene, water, loons, sounds, canoeing, good food, boat rides in the sun, my aunt’s crappy rental boat dying and the whole shebang about towing them in, bananagramz, charades (Katrina’s version – 3 people out of the room, we decide the Clues: who done it, with what weapon, [...]

My Own Rome

as written August 3, 2010, in response to a question: “I never thought I’d…” and I finished that with: Become my own Rome. As I sat in my mother’s nature-infused Zen room on a visit back to Boston, she ventured to entreat that it was time for me to move back home. Home being Massachusetts, [...]

Guns Ablazing

as written August 1, 2010 in response to a friend’s request Ahh…my sweet Jules…I have so much empathy and love for you. I hope you can open your broken heart enough to feel it from me and those who love you. First, I just want to validate the heartbreak. Nothing is more painful than our relationship [...]

Don’t Take The Soul From The Hole

as written June 21, 2010 Side note: I’ve stopped saying, “It’s a good choice, it’s a bad choice,” it’s a CHOICE. Not labeling doesn’t condone, it just validates – and frees me to love unconditionally…and doesn’t validate my sense of FALSE self-worth and keep me in my denial of my pain. Back to the story [...]

Today’s Menu

as written May 14, 2010 Oooohhhh therapy, how I need thee. Every hour, I need thee! I recognize the piling up inside, the emergence and triggering and grieving parts of me that just balloon up inside like those growing ball things that capture Mr. Incredible…until I am surrounded and squeezed and suffocated and crushed to [...]

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