Surrender The Illusion

as written April 4, 2008 Am I willing to look honestly at myself? What stands in my way? I know this is where I am…on step 4 (made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves). And I find myself frightened and excited at the same time. So yes, I really feel that I am [...]

Light the Night

as written April 2, 2008 “Fireflies like jewels, fall down on the meadows,” was a poem my mother taught my brother and me when we were children, and I’ve never forgotten it. Little bugs of light, that illuminate the dark for just a moment of time, and then are gone. But you remember it, you [...]

Pain Wears Tall Stilettos

as written April 3, 2008 Sometimes, it’s hard coming back down to being ‘just’ human again, after revelation, inspiration, break-through’s, “ah-ha’s!” and deep understanding. But here I am, crying like a fool after dropping Brent off back at his sober living house after I spent 5 hours with him this past Saturday. I never ever [...]

The Left Side Of My Life

as written April 1, 2008 Met with W. and one word: Wow. Everything was about CONTROL, and losing control. We dealt with stresses that I’ve been carrying that go back years and years – and they all had a common theme: every single one were instances when I saw people losing control. When I was [...]

Love & Hate

as written April 1, 2008 No one who brings truth to the world is loved by all. I think about the things that The Woman teaches us, things that make so much sense to me – but I was at the point where I had no sense left because the truths I had lived my [...]

Big Fat Anger Ball

as written March 31, 2008 I’m sitting in an ARP meeting on my lunch break, and I fight the anger that flows strongly when I see the fallacies of LDS culture. I read, “You can avoid addictions by keeping the commandments of God.” (Intro in the ARP manual) and my anger lid just BLOWS. Because [...]

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