The 14 Year Old Letter

as written March 29, 1994 “Dear eternal companion, I have so much to say and ask but don’t know how to start. Whoever you are I know we will be together forever. My patriarchal blessing says I will know you by your generosity, kindness, and how we were so far apart – but still found [...]

Hearts That Fall

as written March 8, 2008 What do you do when the well has gone dry? When someone has crushed each stone, piece by piece; pulverized mortar drifts wildly through the air, the soil round the hundred foot drop has been taken too – because it is contaminated. And all that’s left is a huge gaping [...]

The Golden Rule Olympics

as written March 5, 2008 I’m so pissed right now. Brent got all testy and aggravated because I didn’t want him to take “my” car down the street to go smoke. Don’t want to give him the car at all, AND I don’t care if you smoke inside the car or out of it – [...]

Emotional Midget

as written March 4, 2008 Today is my parents 30th wedding anniversary. The story of their love, troubles, disease, illness, joy, cancer, death, struggles…flow through my mind. I think about my mother. Who I look exactly like. Who gave up her family, way of life, loves, friends, and the respect of her dying mother to [...]

Fanatic Seeking Solace

as written March 3, 2008 I am moved beyond this world touch: a fanatic seeking solace. Tender; my faults lined with silver knives – Tow me under or let me ride, tossed oxygen-less and tumbling for you know Water is where I feel safe have always felt home; cushioned by her silent throne – So [...]

So Let Him Walk

as written March 3, 2008 Resentment. I’m angry at Brent for not coming over to see me today, when he had a car and the time. Instead, he got a haircut. It reminded me of all the months he would do things like that. Selfish, and I felt last and unloved. And…I felt resentment towards [...]

King Heroin

as written March 2, 2008 “A 23-year-old young woman was found dead in a car in Reidesville, NC. Her death was ruled a suicide. With her in the car was a written note saying: ‘Jail didn’t cure me. Nor did hospitalization help me for long. The doctor told my family it would have been better, [...]

The Question God Answered

as written March 2, 2008 As I sat at The Woman’s feet during Family Group, she taught us her acronym for denial: Don’t Even Notice I Am Lying. Wo. Denial is a lie…to ourselves. Isn’t it a commandment to not lie? I know that so much lies (ha) in our subconscious, but when we can’t [...]

Spitting Teeth Like Tobacco

as written March 1, 2008 This past weekend was really, really wonderful. I picked Brent up on Saturday morning from his sober living house and dropped him off at the dentist. While they were working on him, I did some grocery shopping, got a couple movies from Hollywood Video, and figured out the last 4 [...]

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